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Resentment is a Gift Wrapped in Used Kleenex


Resentment is good with a whole lot of muck piled on top of it.


You’re probably thinking: How could resentment possibly be a good thing, since it feels so crappy?!?


When you peel back the layers, resentment offers:


  • A signal that something in your life is out of alignment.

  • A clue that you’ve been out of integrity with what you want and what you don’t.

  • An invitation to look at your boundaries and where you’ve been people-pleasing and prioritizing short-term conflict avoidance for long-term agony.

  • An opportunity to look at what’s driving you. Is it others’ needs, society’s should’s, your own fear?

  • A question: Is this really the life you want?

  • A constellation of body signals to grab your attention: churning stomach, seized chest, tensed shoulders.


When you notice that you are feeling resentful, it’s an opportunity to get curious. What information is this resentment providing me? Here you get to excavate with deeper questions like: What’s driving this resentment? Where do I feel out of alignment? What’s not working for me right now in my work, relationships, roles, and inner world?


Once you get at the root of what’s driving the resentment, ask yourself: What change is resentment pointing me toward? Then do that thing. If you need support, ask for it from a friend, partner, family member, coach.


If you fail to take any action, not to worry: Resentment will come on back delivering you more information and more insistence that you make the life-giving changes its pointing toward.


Looking for support to reduce resentment and honor what you most want and need? Reach out to see if coaching is a good fit.




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